Jeeves and the Pea Test
Apr. 15th, 2011 03:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trista_zevkiaTitle: Jeeves and the Pea Test
Author: Trista_zevkia
Chapter: 5/5
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Characters/Pairing: Jeeves and Wooster
Rating: PG-17
Warnings: SLASH Slippery times ahead! Or should that be below?
Summary: A wedding, a wedding night. Do you really need a plot?
Disclaimer: All monies made will go to seducing people to the world of Wodehouse, even if it means making them watch the Fry and Laurie DVD’s.
Author's Notes: Unbeta'd, so I proudly proclaim all the mistakes are supposed to be there.
Chapter 4
The next day, guests arrived and the whole castle buzzed with activity, except in Jeeves’ room. Reginald flitted from project to project, unable to focus and rather humiliated at being confined to his room. All of Bertie’s things, except for his clothes for the wedding and what he was wearing right now, were put into Reginald’s rooms. Annis had retrieved the guitar and put it in his room last night, so the only thing missing was Bertie. Jeeves nibbled at the food that was brought, and considered ways of getting around the ceremonial guard at his door. A long soak in the tub and a slow, careful shave still had Jeeves dressed and ready to go an hour before they came for him. He didn’t put on his coat yet, because it was so long that sitting in it would wrinkle the material.
Not that he sat after all, finally giving in to the urge to pace. Did this tradition do this to all grooms, make them physically need to see the one they loved again? Probably not, as Jeeves considered what he’d be thinking about if it was someone he didn’t want to marry. Like Anatole. The temperamental chef was a friend now, who had taught the cooks a great deal. But if Jeeves had to marry him, this time alone would have him thinking about escape. And what was Bertie doing now? Surely they hadn’t left him alone with his aunt, who might even now be talking him into letting her stay in the castle!
“Reginald!” Jeeves turned and focused on his uncle before the man’s presence even fully penetrated his thought process. “That’s a beautiful shirt, the blue really suits you.”
“It was the closest color the tailor had, to matching Bertie’s eyes.”
“He suits you too, so put on your coat and marry him.” Uncle Charlie shook out the coat and helped Jeeves into it. Jeeves was grateful; as he was so excited he’d probably rip the dark green material. “I didn’t want you spending time with Bertie today, because his Aunt would see it was more than politics that brought you together.”
“It’s been a hard day, but I accept your reasoning.” Uncle Charlie turned away, but was stopped by Reginald’s hand on his shoulder. He turned to see a strange sight, Reginald looking bashful! “Uncle, for all you’ve done for me, for allowing me to love Bertie especially, I can’t thank you enough.”
“Sure you can! Adopt some kids before I die.” Uncle Charlie barely heard Reginald’s reply over his good natured laugh.
“Kids?”
When a hand on his arm was required to propel him into the hallway, Reginald considered there was one aspect of marriage he hadn’t considered yet. He would think on that later, but for now he hurried to the chapel. They had planned on a few changes, since there wasn’t a traditional bride to walk down the center of the chapel. Jeeves had teased Bertie about putting him into a dress and Bertie had turned it into a challenge. His growl of ‘I will if you will’ had left a pile of clothes topped by a pair of torn underwear on the floor. Jeeves hid his grin at the memory, and looked out at the crowd. Madeline and Roderick were oblivious to the rest of the world, as usual, but together in their own little world. Lady Worplesdon was grinding her teeth and glaring at the altar, while trying not to be seen.
Reginald looked over the rest of the crowd and saw only people excited about events. No one seemed offended by who was marrying whom here. But then the music started and Bertie stumbled out of the vestibule opposite Jeeves, and the crowd no longer mattered. Bertie’s coat ended about mid thigh, had a high collar and a military cut, the same as Jeeves’. But Jeeves had opted for the dark green of his family’s coat-of-arms. Bertie’s coat was a plush cranberry over tan pants that were one shade shy of being gold. The shirt under the coat didn’t show, but they were walking towards each other, and shortly clothes wouldn’t be an issue.
Besides walking toward each other at the same time, they’d also changed the vows. Jeeves had thought it interesting that the ancient vows were more open-minded and appropriate then modern ones, but anything Bertie said would have been enough for Jeeves. Four hands clasped, and Jeeves spoke first. Bertie repeated the words, spot on despite his fear of messing them up. Then they turned to the priest for the final words and a benediction. Here, they could have released hands, if they’d had to. Instead Bertie’s right hand stayed entwined with Jeeves’ left as they prayed.
Whatever Lady Worplesdon thought of them, the deal was done without an objection and they faced the congregation as equals. Lady Worplesdon looked angry enough to smelt iron with the look she was giving Jeeves, but as she had been tricked by her assumption that he was a servant, Jeeves couldn’t feel sorry for her. If Bertie wished it, Jeeves would ask for her forgiveness, but he doubted Bertie wanted such a thing. The line between hurt and needlessly hurt hadn’t been crossed here.
There was a long line of well wishers and sycophants to attend to before they opened gifts, and afternoon faded into evening. The wedding concluded with a grand supper, Anatole’s skill making even Lady Worplesdon eat to bursting. Jeeves’ decided him and Bertie, who could doubtless use the energy tonight, were both too excited to eat properly. At the appropriate signal, Bertie lead Jeeves to the dance floor, their dance opening the floor for others to start dancing. Bertie even managed to coax his aunt to the floor, which lessened her scowl for a few minutes. A while later, while Jeeves and Bertie danced with guests, Jeeves noticed Lady Worplesdon was starting to list to port. His new aunt must have decided she liked the wine that had been provided. A small smile and Jeeves went back to waiting out the night.
Time was crawling by, torturing Jeeves. He finally had Bertie with him, close enough to touch, but not in the way he wanted to! Just when Jeeves was plotting ways to fake the signal, the tower bells rang to signify it was fully night. People familiar with the tradition began cheering and rapping goblets with cutlery. Bertie looked to Jeeves for an explanation, but Jeeves pulled him to his tired feet. The quick kiss on the lips might have been to convince people it was a political marriage, but the participants knew it was so they didn’t respond to each other in front of an audience.
Hand in hand, they left the main hall to loud congratulatory sounds. Bertie giggled as they left, free for once from Agatha’s angry glare. The look she was giving King Charles was filled with a different king of heat. Jeeves considered warning his oblivious uncle, but Charlie could look after himself, at least for the duration of the honeymoon. After the cheering died down, there would be more drinking and dancing as the wedding was celebrated. Bertie and Jeeves would have a solid month together, without responsibilities from this instant on. Bertie knew that much of tradition, Jeeves having teased him with it often. As soon as the hall doors were closed behind them, Bertie tightened his grip on Jeeves’ hand and ran. Jeeves would have laughed, but Bertie was a highly motivated runner.
Servants had prepared Jeeves rooms, their rooms, with lanterns, fresh sheets and flower petals. They simply didn’t notice, because Bertie was kissing Jeeves before they even made it in the door. He shoved Jeeves against the door to close it, kissing away any surprise or pain. Not that Jeeves was passive in this encounter, as his left leg was hooked around Bertie, pulling him as close as possible while Jeeves pulled the unflattering coat off his spouse. Bertie’s hands simply pulled up the coat so they could get to the pants underneath, and the excited anatomy under the pants.
“Oh my!” The whispered words stopped both men in an instant. Their lips were securely fastened, so they knew they hadn’t said anything! Bertie flushed to match his coat, which was on the floor because Jeeves was very good at removing clothing, but used only his head to look for the source of the words. His body hid their arousal from whoever was watching, the arousal that wasn’t quite ready to fade. Two people stood beside the fireplace, and Bertie recognized them both but only knew one by name.
“What ho, Connla?” The young woman flushed at being caught watching and began to stutter out an explanation.
“We were readying the room and bringing up gifts, from the king himself, and then we…” Connla trailed off and looked at Annis for help. Jeeves considered their lips to be almost as swollen as Bertie’s, so he had a good idea what they’d been doing.
“Just talking. You know how us girls like to talk.” Annis was smart enough to use such generalizations to her advantage, but a terrible liar. She seemed to know it, and pushed into the reason for them being there. “Anyway, we got the room ready for you. Connla brought up some food, as instructed, and I have, um, presents for you.”
“Could have just bunged them on the pile we already opened.” Bertie wasn’t usually so short, but as they were both still half aroused, Jeeves could certainly understand it. Connla giggled, and Annis’ eyes were as amused as they’d been the night before.
“The servants sent you a gift, Sir. It would have been presumptuous of us to place it with the gifts of nobles. I asked the king to give it to you, and he suggested I bring it, even sending a gift of his own.” Annis stepped forward and handed over a pint sized glass jar. Jeeves took it, and opened it to examine the contents. Little to no odor, it was a very slippery jell. Jeeves didn’t want to seem ignorant, but Annis spoke before he could ask. “I might have accidentally asked his majesty what it was. He said, and I am quoting here, ‘Reg is a smart boy, he’ll figure it out.’ That’s all I know, Sire.”
“Thank you, Annis.” The words came automatically, as he considered the jell. He knew what such things were used for in machines, lubricating the parts so they might fit together easier. He allowed himself to picture a naked Bertie in his mind, even as a calmed Bertie turned away to accept the next gift from Connla. Jeeves considered Bertie’s mouth, but rejected it for being self lubricating.
“Sir, you were a wonderful bard and we all loved your playing. But we loved you even more, your kindness and happy nature. We knew the other gifts would be grand, which we couldn’t match, but we wanted to give you something.” Connla spoke some more, and Jeeves considered the friction of hands on cocks. The lotion he’d used during solo activities had been effective for duets as well, was this product simply better? “So, it’s not much, but it’s for you.”
Connla handed over the package, and Bertie opened it with reverence. It was a gift from people who liked him, which made it far more important to Bertie then Connla knew. Bertie gasped when he saw it, and sent Connla a dazzling smile. She blushed at the intensity of it even as she smiled back.
“Look, Jeeves! Blank sheet music, so I can write my own songs.” Bertie pressed back into Jeeves to better show off his prize, and Jeeves suddenly thought of a bit of anatomy that could be explored with proper lubrication. Fully hard, Jeeves used his left arm to hold Bertie to him, and hide that evidence of comprehension.
“Sire, we love your music and hope you continue with it.” Annis, saying in one sentence what Connla had taken a paragraph to say. “But I’m sure we’re needed elsewhere.”
Smart, clever Annis, who Jeeves liked more as he got to know her, no doubt knew something was up. Or, more precisely, back up. Annis stared at them, until it penetrated Jeeves’ lust befuddled brain just where he was. Jeeves felt himself blush as he used his arm around Bertie’s waste to lead them away from the door so the women could leave. They curtsied and left, but Jeeves still heard Annis whisper to Connla.
“Why’d you say anything? I was getting interested in watching them.”
“I spoke because the up against the door thing was giving me ideas.”
“They don’t really need our help at the reception.” Annis said, and Connla giggled as Jeeves shut the door and locked it. Turning, he saw Bertie was naked, but looking at his gift in joy. Jeeves placed his gift on the bedside table and removed his clothes. He’d never use them again, never marry again, but he was still folding them neatly when octopus Bertie attacked. A tackle had them both on the bed, Bertie trying to laugh and pant at the same time. Jeeves solved that conundrum by kissing Bertie’s breath away.
Jeeves started to rub against Bertie’s hips, just as Bertie rolled them. It was quick, dirty and desperate as they sought to relive the tension of the time apart. Mutually wanting to get that needy lust out of their systems so they could move onto the month of pleasure they had planned. Octopus Bertie grabbed for Jeeves butt, and his long fingers slid into the cleft. This, combined with Jeeves’ newest idea, was enough to set him off, and Bertie followed.
When enough breath returned, Bertie spoke.
“I didn’t eat much yesterday, I’m rather hungry. Plus I feel I’ll need to keep my strength up for you.”
“Let me up, and I’ll get you something from the food Connla brought.”
“Let you up? You’re the one that turns into a right proper squid after that activity!”
“A squid, Sir?”
“A dignified squid, I’m sure.”
“I was clarifying, as I’ve often thought of you as an octopus.”
“What’s the difference between a squid and an octopus? Not that it matters, as long as we’re both fish in the same kettle.”
“Indeed we are.” A heated kiss and Jeeves found his feet. He washed off and then filled a pitcher with water. The pitcher went with the basin he had stashed under his bed weeks ago and the pile of flannels let them wash off without leaving the bed. One of his most brilliant ideas, Jeeves thought. Bertie looked almost asleep and let Jeeves wash him down. Trying not to be disappointed at Bertie falling asleep so soon, Jeeves went to see what food had been provided.
The ornate silver cloche came up, and out spilled a cascade of little green balls. Peas, to be precise. Somewhat nonplused, Jeeves turned to Bertie, who began to howl with laughter. Carefully, so as to not smash the peas into the floors, Jeeves moved to stand beside the bed. Putting his hands behind his back and waiting seemed the best option, until at last Bertie was able to speak between laughs.
“It was either that or a month of pea related meals!”
“That statement presupposes that it was a necessary action.”
“I did need to do it! Now I’ve got revenge, and you can stop looking so guilty whenever you see a pea.”
“Had I but asked after your comfort, when could have been married before your aunt arrived.”
“Tut-tut, my squid prince. She’s your aunt too!” Jeeves winced at that, and sat on the bed.
“Let’s not talk of her right now. Instead, I have an idea about Uncle Charlie’s gift I would like to share with you.”
“I like your ideas.” This comment was said in a tone that let Jeeves know just how much Bertie loved his ideas. That tone did funny things to his cock, but he had to tease Bertie a little.
“If you’re sure you’re not too hungry.”
“I only hunger for you, my prince in shiny hair!” Even if the words hadn’t indicated Bertie was mocking Madeline, he gave voice to a reasonable imitation of her airy tones. Jeeves would explore that, later. For now, he took the lid off the glass jar and dipped his fingers in. Trying not to smear any on the bed sheets, he lay on his back and gave Bertie a suggestive look. The look Bertie sent him was filled with hunger, but not for food. “You’re going to show me what that’s for?”
“I’m going to tell you what I think it’s for, and then you’ll show me if I’m right.”
“Do tell, please!”
“On machines and pipes, lubrication helps thing fit together, once the item is prepared. This is where I think I need to be lubricated.” Bertie bit his lip as he watched Jeeves’ coated fingers move toward his own butt. Jeeves had to adjust, try to move his hips and shoulders closer together as he used his left hand to open himself for his right. Somewhat embarrassed by how silly he must have looked, Jeeves looked away from Bertie’s face. Seeing that Bertie was fully hard pushed away any embarrassment, and Jeeves slid on finger into his most personal hole. It should have felt weird or stupid, but the way Bertie was looking at him made it erotic. Jeeves slid the finger in, and pulled it back out slowly, just to watch Bertie’s desire grow.
“Bertie, dip your fingers in the lubricant.” The lusty voice got instant obedience from Bertie, so Jeeves stashed that idea in the back of his mind for later. Jeeves took a moment to wonder at the idea of so much later, when they’d come so close to not even having a now! “Oh, Bertie!”
“What, love?” Bertie looked at Jeeves’ face, and Jeeves decide his last statement might have been too sad for this moment.
“I’m ready for your finger, love.” That was all the distracting Bertie needed, as he looked down again.
“Are you going to take your finger out?”
“No. We’re stretching me out, to see what I can take.”
“What?” Bertie asked, but he wasn’t listening for the answer. Slowly, Bertie slid a finger in. Just knowing it was Bertie’s finger made the experience good, and Jeeves wanted more.
“Move your finger, stretch me out.”
“Oh, right.” Tentatively, Bertie turned his finger and stroked something. Jeeves lost his mind for a second, hearing only his body crying for more. Except Bertie had pulled out and moved away, to look at him with fearful eyes. “Do you need a healer? Did I kill you?”
“Just a little, it was wonderful.”
“But you came up off the bed and said a word I didn’t even know you knew!”
“Normally, I’d wonder what word that was. Right now, I just want you to see if you can get me to say it again.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Use two fingers to look.” Laying back, Jeeves settled into the bed and bent his knees up while spreading his legs. Bertie was interested, but afraid of hurting him. So Jeeves stuck his first two fingers inside and felt around. Bertie scooted forward, fingers twitching. Seeing Bertie so entranced heightened everything, made Jeeves feel beautiful somehow. When Bertie stopped Jeeves’ hand from moving, and then pulled it out, Jeeves felt the loss keenly. He expected Bertie’s slender digits wouldn’t fill him in the way he suddenly wanted. He forgot that concern when Bertie’s perfect, talented finger found that spot again, almost immediately. Jeeves thought maybe there was someone else in the room, as he thought he heard babbling, and Bertie was biting his lower lip too hard to speak. Bertie looked away from his hand to see Jeeves’ face, and Jeeves lost all his control. Slowly adjusting to the weight of his body once again, Jeeves managed to focus on Bertie’s blushing face. Bertie had apparently washed them both off with the flannel now held in his hand. “Bertie.”
“Goodness Jeeves, I didn’t even know that word and I rode over here on a pirate boat!”
“Did I speak?”
“Speak? You were jabbering about poetry making sense and rabbits, in between instructions on what to do. More, harder, move, thrust, and I think the whole castle just heard that last word you said.”
“I hope I didn’t disgust you terribly, Sir.” Jeeves meant it, but was enjoying the floating sensation he was still feeling too much to sound like he meant it.
“Disgust? I came off from hearing you say it.”
“What word?”
“I’m not going to say it, it’s filthy!”
“And nothing I can say or do will convince you otherwise?”
“Maybe, if you did to me, what I did to you, I’ll shout the same thing.”
“A fascinating experiment, I’m sure. But I fear I am not up to just yet, Sir.”
“Neither am I. A quick snack of bread and cheese, a five minute rest period, and then we try.”
“Are you really going to leave the room so soon?” The idea of Bertie going down to the kitchens now made Jeeves’ wonder if he should have taken care of Bertie before coming off.
“No, not until I have to leave and then only with you. When I thought up the pea gag, I stashed the real food in my wardrobe.” Jeeves’ floating feeling disappeared with those words, and he turned to look at Bertie.
“You put food in with your clothes?”
“No, I asked Connla to do it; once I found out I wasn’t allowed back into the room.”
“Whatever am I going to do with you?”
“You’re going to find out what I say under the influence of your fingers, later.”
“Later.”
“Later, and probably repeatedly. You really seemed to enjoy it.” Looking thoughtful, Bertie lay beside Jeeves.’
“Later, I will give you so much satisfaction that you’ll forget there was ever a before.”
“Is that a promise?” The pillow talk had triggered something in Bertie, and there was a plaintive note to his question.
“Yes.” The word was inadequate, and Jeeves pulled Bertie to him, octopus meeting squid as he repeated part of the vows from earlier. “Ye are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I give ye my body, that we two might be one. I give ye my spirit, ‘til our life shall be done.”
“You cannot possession me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it; I give you that which is mine to give.” Bertie said, and Jeeves’ joined him for the rest, their voices as entwined as their bodies. “You cannot command me, for I am a free person, but I shall serve you in those ways you require. I shall be a shield for your back, as you are for mine. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.”
The passionate kiss they could not risk before a crowd sealed the vows at last. Bertie pulled away to add his own meaningful contribution.
“Later, and repeatedly.” Together and sated, they smiled themselves to sleep. After a short nap, they woke up to start living happily ever after.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
* Traditional Celtic wedding vows, just in case you're wondering.
Author: Trista_zevkia
Chapter: 5/5
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Characters/Pairing: Jeeves and Wooster
Rating: PG-17
Warnings: SLASH Slippery times ahead! Or should that be below?
Summary: A wedding, a wedding night. Do you really need a plot?
Disclaimer: All monies made will go to seducing people to the world of Wodehouse, even if it means making them watch the Fry and Laurie DVD’s.
Author's Notes: Unbeta'd, so I proudly proclaim all the mistakes are supposed to be there.
Chapter 4
The next day, guests arrived and the whole castle buzzed with activity, except in Jeeves’ room. Reginald flitted from project to project, unable to focus and rather humiliated at being confined to his room. All of Bertie’s things, except for his clothes for the wedding and what he was wearing right now, were put into Reginald’s rooms. Annis had retrieved the guitar and put it in his room last night, so the only thing missing was Bertie. Jeeves nibbled at the food that was brought, and considered ways of getting around the ceremonial guard at his door. A long soak in the tub and a slow, careful shave still had Jeeves dressed and ready to go an hour before they came for him. He didn’t put on his coat yet, because it was so long that sitting in it would wrinkle the material.
Not that he sat after all, finally giving in to the urge to pace. Did this tradition do this to all grooms, make them physically need to see the one they loved again? Probably not, as Jeeves considered what he’d be thinking about if it was someone he didn’t want to marry. Like Anatole. The temperamental chef was a friend now, who had taught the cooks a great deal. But if Jeeves had to marry him, this time alone would have him thinking about escape. And what was Bertie doing now? Surely they hadn’t left him alone with his aunt, who might even now be talking him into letting her stay in the castle!
“Reginald!” Jeeves turned and focused on his uncle before the man’s presence even fully penetrated his thought process. “That’s a beautiful shirt, the blue really suits you.”
“It was the closest color the tailor had, to matching Bertie’s eyes.”
“He suits you too, so put on your coat and marry him.” Uncle Charlie shook out the coat and helped Jeeves into it. Jeeves was grateful; as he was so excited he’d probably rip the dark green material. “I didn’t want you spending time with Bertie today, because his Aunt would see it was more than politics that brought you together.”
“It’s been a hard day, but I accept your reasoning.” Uncle Charlie turned away, but was stopped by Reginald’s hand on his shoulder. He turned to see a strange sight, Reginald looking bashful! “Uncle, for all you’ve done for me, for allowing me to love Bertie especially, I can’t thank you enough.”
“Sure you can! Adopt some kids before I die.” Uncle Charlie barely heard Reginald’s reply over his good natured laugh.
“Kids?”
When a hand on his arm was required to propel him into the hallway, Reginald considered there was one aspect of marriage he hadn’t considered yet. He would think on that later, but for now he hurried to the chapel. They had planned on a few changes, since there wasn’t a traditional bride to walk down the center of the chapel. Jeeves had teased Bertie about putting him into a dress and Bertie had turned it into a challenge. His growl of ‘I will if you will’ had left a pile of clothes topped by a pair of torn underwear on the floor. Jeeves hid his grin at the memory, and looked out at the crowd. Madeline and Roderick were oblivious to the rest of the world, as usual, but together in their own little world. Lady Worplesdon was grinding her teeth and glaring at the altar, while trying not to be seen.
Reginald looked over the rest of the crowd and saw only people excited about events. No one seemed offended by who was marrying whom here. But then the music started and Bertie stumbled out of the vestibule opposite Jeeves, and the crowd no longer mattered. Bertie’s coat ended about mid thigh, had a high collar and a military cut, the same as Jeeves’. But Jeeves had opted for the dark green of his family’s coat-of-arms. Bertie’s coat was a plush cranberry over tan pants that were one shade shy of being gold. The shirt under the coat didn’t show, but they were walking towards each other, and shortly clothes wouldn’t be an issue.
Besides walking toward each other at the same time, they’d also changed the vows. Jeeves had thought it interesting that the ancient vows were more open-minded and appropriate then modern ones, but anything Bertie said would have been enough for Jeeves. Four hands clasped, and Jeeves spoke first. Bertie repeated the words, spot on despite his fear of messing them up. Then they turned to the priest for the final words and a benediction. Here, they could have released hands, if they’d had to. Instead Bertie’s right hand stayed entwined with Jeeves’ left as they prayed.
Whatever Lady Worplesdon thought of them, the deal was done without an objection and they faced the congregation as equals. Lady Worplesdon looked angry enough to smelt iron with the look she was giving Jeeves, but as she had been tricked by her assumption that he was a servant, Jeeves couldn’t feel sorry for her. If Bertie wished it, Jeeves would ask for her forgiveness, but he doubted Bertie wanted such a thing. The line between hurt and needlessly hurt hadn’t been crossed here.
There was a long line of well wishers and sycophants to attend to before they opened gifts, and afternoon faded into evening. The wedding concluded with a grand supper, Anatole’s skill making even Lady Worplesdon eat to bursting. Jeeves’ decided him and Bertie, who could doubtless use the energy tonight, were both too excited to eat properly. At the appropriate signal, Bertie lead Jeeves to the dance floor, their dance opening the floor for others to start dancing. Bertie even managed to coax his aunt to the floor, which lessened her scowl for a few minutes. A while later, while Jeeves and Bertie danced with guests, Jeeves noticed Lady Worplesdon was starting to list to port. His new aunt must have decided she liked the wine that had been provided. A small smile and Jeeves went back to waiting out the night.
Time was crawling by, torturing Jeeves. He finally had Bertie with him, close enough to touch, but not in the way he wanted to! Just when Jeeves was plotting ways to fake the signal, the tower bells rang to signify it was fully night. People familiar with the tradition began cheering and rapping goblets with cutlery. Bertie looked to Jeeves for an explanation, but Jeeves pulled him to his tired feet. The quick kiss on the lips might have been to convince people it was a political marriage, but the participants knew it was so they didn’t respond to each other in front of an audience.
Hand in hand, they left the main hall to loud congratulatory sounds. Bertie giggled as they left, free for once from Agatha’s angry glare. The look she was giving King Charles was filled with a different king of heat. Jeeves considered warning his oblivious uncle, but Charlie could look after himself, at least for the duration of the honeymoon. After the cheering died down, there would be more drinking and dancing as the wedding was celebrated. Bertie and Jeeves would have a solid month together, without responsibilities from this instant on. Bertie knew that much of tradition, Jeeves having teased him with it often. As soon as the hall doors were closed behind them, Bertie tightened his grip on Jeeves’ hand and ran. Jeeves would have laughed, but Bertie was a highly motivated runner.
Servants had prepared Jeeves rooms, their rooms, with lanterns, fresh sheets and flower petals. They simply didn’t notice, because Bertie was kissing Jeeves before they even made it in the door. He shoved Jeeves against the door to close it, kissing away any surprise or pain. Not that Jeeves was passive in this encounter, as his left leg was hooked around Bertie, pulling him as close as possible while Jeeves pulled the unflattering coat off his spouse. Bertie’s hands simply pulled up the coat so they could get to the pants underneath, and the excited anatomy under the pants.
“Oh my!” The whispered words stopped both men in an instant. Their lips were securely fastened, so they knew they hadn’t said anything! Bertie flushed to match his coat, which was on the floor because Jeeves was very good at removing clothing, but used only his head to look for the source of the words. His body hid their arousal from whoever was watching, the arousal that wasn’t quite ready to fade. Two people stood beside the fireplace, and Bertie recognized them both but only knew one by name.
“What ho, Connla?” The young woman flushed at being caught watching and began to stutter out an explanation.
“We were readying the room and bringing up gifts, from the king himself, and then we…” Connla trailed off and looked at Annis for help. Jeeves considered their lips to be almost as swollen as Bertie’s, so he had a good idea what they’d been doing.
“Just talking. You know how us girls like to talk.” Annis was smart enough to use such generalizations to her advantage, but a terrible liar. She seemed to know it, and pushed into the reason for them being there. “Anyway, we got the room ready for you. Connla brought up some food, as instructed, and I have, um, presents for you.”
“Could have just bunged them on the pile we already opened.” Bertie wasn’t usually so short, but as they were both still half aroused, Jeeves could certainly understand it. Connla giggled, and Annis’ eyes were as amused as they’d been the night before.
“The servants sent you a gift, Sir. It would have been presumptuous of us to place it with the gifts of nobles. I asked the king to give it to you, and he suggested I bring it, even sending a gift of his own.” Annis stepped forward and handed over a pint sized glass jar. Jeeves took it, and opened it to examine the contents. Little to no odor, it was a very slippery jell. Jeeves didn’t want to seem ignorant, but Annis spoke before he could ask. “I might have accidentally asked his majesty what it was. He said, and I am quoting here, ‘Reg is a smart boy, he’ll figure it out.’ That’s all I know, Sire.”
“Thank you, Annis.” The words came automatically, as he considered the jell. He knew what such things were used for in machines, lubricating the parts so they might fit together easier. He allowed himself to picture a naked Bertie in his mind, even as a calmed Bertie turned away to accept the next gift from Connla. Jeeves considered Bertie’s mouth, but rejected it for being self lubricating.
“Sir, you were a wonderful bard and we all loved your playing. But we loved you even more, your kindness and happy nature. We knew the other gifts would be grand, which we couldn’t match, but we wanted to give you something.” Connla spoke some more, and Jeeves considered the friction of hands on cocks. The lotion he’d used during solo activities had been effective for duets as well, was this product simply better? “So, it’s not much, but it’s for you.”
Connla handed over the package, and Bertie opened it with reverence. It was a gift from people who liked him, which made it far more important to Bertie then Connla knew. Bertie gasped when he saw it, and sent Connla a dazzling smile. She blushed at the intensity of it even as she smiled back.
“Look, Jeeves! Blank sheet music, so I can write my own songs.” Bertie pressed back into Jeeves to better show off his prize, and Jeeves suddenly thought of a bit of anatomy that could be explored with proper lubrication. Fully hard, Jeeves used his left arm to hold Bertie to him, and hide that evidence of comprehension.
“Sire, we love your music and hope you continue with it.” Annis, saying in one sentence what Connla had taken a paragraph to say. “But I’m sure we’re needed elsewhere.”
Smart, clever Annis, who Jeeves liked more as he got to know her, no doubt knew something was up. Or, more precisely, back up. Annis stared at them, until it penetrated Jeeves’ lust befuddled brain just where he was. Jeeves felt himself blush as he used his arm around Bertie’s waste to lead them away from the door so the women could leave. They curtsied and left, but Jeeves still heard Annis whisper to Connla.
“Why’d you say anything? I was getting interested in watching them.”
“I spoke because the up against the door thing was giving me ideas.”
“They don’t really need our help at the reception.” Annis said, and Connla giggled as Jeeves shut the door and locked it. Turning, he saw Bertie was naked, but looking at his gift in joy. Jeeves placed his gift on the bedside table and removed his clothes. He’d never use them again, never marry again, but he was still folding them neatly when octopus Bertie attacked. A tackle had them both on the bed, Bertie trying to laugh and pant at the same time. Jeeves solved that conundrum by kissing Bertie’s breath away.
Jeeves started to rub against Bertie’s hips, just as Bertie rolled them. It was quick, dirty and desperate as they sought to relive the tension of the time apart. Mutually wanting to get that needy lust out of their systems so they could move onto the month of pleasure they had planned. Octopus Bertie grabbed for Jeeves butt, and his long fingers slid into the cleft. This, combined with Jeeves’ newest idea, was enough to set him off, and Bertie followed.
When enough breath returned, Bertie spoke.
“I didn’t eat much yesterday, I’m rather hungry. Plus I feel I’ll need to keep my strength up for you.”
“Let me up, and I’ll get you something from the food Connla brought.”
“Let you up? You’re the one that turns into a right proper squid after that activity!”
“A squid, Sir?”
“A dignified squid, I’m sure.”
“I was clarifying, as I’ve often thought of you as an octopus.”
“What’s the difference between a squid and an octopus? Not that it matters, as long as we’re both fish in the same kettle.”
“Indeed we are.” A heated kiss and Jeeves found his feet. He washed off and then filled a pitcher with water. The pitcher went with the basin he had stashed under his bed weeks ago and the pile of flannels let them wash off without leaving the bed. One of his most brilliant ideas, Jeeves thought. Bertie looked almost asleep and let Jeeves wash him down. Trying not to be disappointed at Bertie falling asleep so soon, Jeeves went to see what food had been provided.
The ornate silver cloche came up, and out spilled a cascade of little green balls. Peas, to be precise. Somewhat nonplused, Jeeves turned to Bertie, who began to howl with laughter. Carefully, so as to not smash the peas into the floors, Jeeves moved to stand beside the bed. Putting his hands behind his back and waiting seemed the best option, until at last Bertie was able to speak between laughs.
“It was either that or a month of pea related meals!”
“That statement presupposes that it was a necessary action.”
“I did need to do it! Now I’ve got revenge, and you can stop looking so guilty whenever you see a pea.”
“Had I but asked after your comfort, when could have been married before your aunt arrived.”
“Tut-tut, my squid prince. She’s your aunt too!” Jeeves winced at that, and sat on the bed.
“Let’s not talk of her right now. Instead, I have an idea about Uncle Charlie’s gift I would like to share with you.”
“I like your ideas.” This comment was said in a tone that let Jeeves know just how much Bertie loved his ideas. That tone did funny things to his cock, but he had to tease Bertie a little.
“If you’re sure you’re not too hungry.”
“I only hunger for you, my prince in shiny hair!” Even if the words hadn’t indicated Bertie was mocking Madeline, he gave voice to a reasonable imitation of her airy tones. Jeeves would explore that, later. For now, he took the lid off the glass jar and dipped his fingers in. Trying not to smear any on the bed sheets, he lay on his back and gave Bertie a suggestive look. The look Bertie sent him was filled with hunger, but not for food. “You’re going to show me what that’s for?”
“I’m going to tell you what I think it’s for, and then you’ll show me if I’m right.”
“Do tell, please!”
“On machines and pipes, lubrication helps thing fit together, once the item is prepared. This is where I think I need to be lubricated.” Bertie bit his lip as he watched Jeeves’ coated fingers move toward his own butt. Jeeves had to adjust, try to move his hips and shoulders closer together as he used his left hand to open himself for his right. Somewhat embarrassed by how silly he must have looked, Jeeves looked away from Bertie’s face. Seeing that Bertie was fully hard pushed away any embarrassment, and Jeeves slid on finger into his most personal hole. It should have felt weird or stupid, but the way Bertie was looking at him made it erotic. Jeeves slid the finger in, and pulled it back out slowly, just to watch Bertie’s desire grow.
“Bertie, dip your fingers in the lubricant.” The lusty voice got instant obedience from Bertie, so Jeeves stashed that idea in the back of his mind for later. Jeeves took a moment to wonder at the idea of so much later, when they’d come so close to not even having a now! “Oh, Bertie!”
“What, love?” Bertie looked at Jeeves’ face, and Jeeves decide his last statement might have been too sad for this moment.
“I’m ready for your finger, love.” That was all the distracting Bertie needed, as he looked down again.
“Are you going to take your finger out?”
“No. We’re stretching me out, to see what I can take.”
“What?” Bertie asked, but he wasn’t listening for the answer. Slowly, Bertie slid a finger in. Just knowing it was Bertie’s finger made the experience good, and Jeeves wanted more.
“Move your finger, stretch me out.”
“Oh, right.” Tentatively, Bertie turned his finger and stroked something. Jeeves lost his mind for a second, hearing only his body crying for more. Except Bertie had pulled out and moved away, to look at him with fearful eyes. “Do you need a healer? Did I kill you?”
“Just a little, it was wonderful.”
“But you came up off the bed and said a word I didn’t even know you knew!”
“Normally, I’d wonder what word that was. Right now, I just want you to see if you can get me to say it again.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Use two fingers to look.” Laying back, Jeeves settled into the bed and bent his knees up while spreading his legs. Bertie was interested, but afraid of hurting him. So Jeeves stuck his first two fingers inside and felt around. Bertie scooted forward, fingers twitching. Seeing Bertie so entranced heightened everything, made Jeeves feel beautiful somehow. When Bertie stopped Jeeves’ hand from moving, and then pulled it out, Jeeves felt the loss keenly. He expected Bertie’s slender digits wouldn’t fill him in the way he suddenly wanted. He forgot that concern when Bertie’s perfect, talented finger found that spot again, almost immediately. Jeeves thought maybe there was someone else in the room, as he thought he heard babbling, and Bertie was biting his lower lip too hard to speak. Bertie looked away from his hand to see Jeeves’ face, and Jeeves lost all his control. Slowly adjusting to the weight of his body once again, Jeeves managed to focus on Bertie’s blushing face. Bertie had apparently washed them both off with the flannel now held in his hand. “Bertie.”
“Goodness Jeeves, I didn’t even know that word and I rode over here on a pirate boat!”
“Did I speak?”
“Speak? You were jabbering about poetry making sense and rabbits, in between instructions on what to do. More, harder, move, thrust, and I think the whole castle just heard that last word you said.”
“I hope I didn’t disgust you terribly, Sir.” Jeeves meant it, but was enjoying the floating sensation he was still feeling too much to sound like he meant it.
“Disgust? I came off from hearing you say it.”
“What word?”
“I’m not going to say it, it’s filthy!”
“And nothing I can say or do will convince you otherwise?”
“Maybe, if you did to me, what I did to you, I’ll shout the same thing.”
“A fascinating experiment, I’m sure. But I fear I am not up to just yet, Sir.”
“Neither am I. A quick snack of bread and cheese, a five minute rest period, and then we try.”
“Are you really going to leave the room so soon?” The idea of Bertie going down to the kitchens now made Jeeves’ wonder if he should have taken care of Bertie before coming off.
“No, not until I have to leave and then only with you. When I thought up the pea gag, I stashed the real food in my wardrobe.” Jeeves’ floating feeling disappeared with those words, and he turned to look at Bertie.
“You put food in with your clothes?”
“No, I asked Connla to do it; once I found out I wasn’t allowed back into the room.”
“Whatever am I going to do with you?”
“You’re going to find out what I say under the influence of your fingers, later.”
“Later.”
“Later, and probably repeatedly. You really seemed to enjoy it.” Looking thoughtful, Bertie lay beside Jeeves.’
“Later, I will give you so much satisfaction that you’ll forget there was ever a before.”
“Is that a promise?” The pillow talk had triggered something in Bertie, and there was a plaintive note to his question.
“Yes.” The word was inadequate, and Jeeves pulled Bertie to him, octopus meeting squid as he repeated part of the vows from earlier. “Ye are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I give ye my body, that we two might be one. I give ye my spirit, ‘til our life shall be done.”
“You cannot possession me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it; I give you that which is mine to give.” Bertie said, and Jeeves’ joined him for the rest, their voices as entwined as their bodies. “You cannot command me, for I am a free person, but I shall serve you in those ways you require. I shall be a shield for your back, as you are for mine. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.”
The passionate kiss they could not risk before a crowd sealed the vows at last. Bertie pulled away to add his own meaningful contribution.
“Later, and repeatedly.” Together and sated, they smiled themselves to sleep. After a short nap, they woke up to start living happily ever after.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
* Traditional Celtic wedding vows, just in case you're wondering.
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Date: 2011-04-15 06:13 pm (UTC)Oh, how I loved the part where Bertie was talking with Annis and Connla and Jeeves was just figuring out the first present - a mastermind <3
Oh, my... and I'm crying <3 A wonderful, fluff-y ending for my romance yearning soul \o/ ...though, I wouldn't have said no if they've gone all the way, slash-wise... but hey, later ;)
(that's to say: I'm counting on either epilogue or whole another story of these two ;))
Thank you, its been a pleasure <3
-B
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Date: 2011-04-15 11:42 pm (UTC)