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Title: In Unusual Places
Author: Trista_zevkia
Chapter: 1/1
Fandom: Batman/Superman
Characters/Pairing: Clark/Bruce
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: SLASH
Summary: Bats and Supes Come out to the JL. Not as much angst as they expected.
Disclaimer: All this happened, more or less
Author's Notes: A comment on This by draxidean

“Alright, calm down guys. And ladies.” Superman’s smile proved it could even calm Hawkgirls’ glare, before he turned it back to the rest of the assembled JL. “Just one more announcement, of a personal nature.”

That got everybody’s attention, even if they had to elbow each other while giving Superman their attention.

“Right, here it goes. Normally, we don’t feel the need to bring our personal lives into the Watchtower, unless it is likely to interfere with the business and functionality of the JL. It hasn’t yet, but I still want everyone to know, because I figure, if you know you’re more likely to watch out for suspicious behavior from me. Being emotionally compromised and such, though I certainly don’t claim to be Vulcan or something.”

“Superman and I are fucking.” Batman broke in, having better things to do with his time than listen to Superman ramble.

“B! I can’t believe you said that, you made it sound so crude.”

“It’s the most common denominator in the universe, every species does it.”

“You totally bypassed the love part.”

“So you admit you’re in a relationship?” Flash asked, almost, no, actually vibrating in place.

Batman gave him a dignified nod. Superman smiled to compete with the sun outside the Watchtower. The assembled JL broke out into loud congratulations and conversations. Batman’s eyes narrowed behind his lenses as he watched the spectacle. Superman turned to Batman, still smiling.

“I told you they wouldn’t care.”

“They’re not even surprised. How many people did you tell before this?”

“None! Why are you so…” Clark’s voice trailed off, to better hear the announcement coming over the P.A. system.

“Superman and Batman have admitted to their relationship.” Flash wasn’t trying to disguise his voice, which was good. It would only have pissed Batman off to have to prove it was Flash before beating on him for it. “J’onn has gone to get the betting pool results, so come to the meeting room to settle up.”

J’onn floated into the room, now carrying a rather large ledger book. Flash was hot on his heels, as was the rest of the JL that hadn’t been in on the meeting. They gathered behind J’onn, who opened the book as if it held the secrets of the universe.

“Batman, Superman, in order to properly hand out the winnings, it is necessary that you provide us with exact dates.”

“J’onn, I can’t believe you’re involved in this.” Superman said with a sigh.

“As a telepath, it was felt I could prevent cheating, as well as hide the book from Batman.”

“And it had to be a book, because if it was on any computer I would have found it.” Batman said, sounding factual instead of smug.

Nobody protested this humble boast.

“Exactly. Knowledge of the exact nature of the betting would skew the results. Now, when was your first date?”

Both men gave a date, approximately nine months apart. And then turned to scowl at each other.

“B, you can’t think that was our first date!”

“Why not?”

“Neither of us asked the other, we just both brought pizza to that rooftop.”

“You think I eat pizza on rooftops with just anybody?”

“We dated for nine months before you bothered to tell me or ask me out properly?”

“Off and on.” Batman’s one shoulder shrug propelled J’onn into talking.

“For Batman’s date, I have Huntress as the winner.”

“Hey!” Blue Beetle piped up. “Does she even count? She’s not a member of the JL.”

“She was at the time.” Batman’s growl begs people to contradict him on this.

“She can share the winnings with the winner from Superman’s date. Nightwing.” J’onn prudently moved on before too many people could process that statement. “Your first kiss?”

“As a couple?” Batman asked, probably to save him from offering a different date than Superman.

“He’d better mean as a couple.” Superman grumbles, not wanting to think about the sordid history he inherited when he fell for B. But he did add a date, which B didn't contradict.

“For the date Superman gave,” J’onn can be very consolatory when facing a man with heat vision and his partner with the portable welding torch and the will to use it. “I see Red Robin has marked the book.”

“He’s not in the JL either!” Someone in the back of the crowd calls.

Superman shrugs and calls back. “Young Justice has the right to use the Watchtower if needed.”

More grumbling, so J’onn has to raise his voice to be heard. “When was your first sexual encounter as a couple?”

Both men pop out the same date this time, but Superman has to stop himself from adding the time and length of that encounter. The punch to the arm might have helped with that, but the security footage would have to be reviewed to prove it was Batman doing the punching.

J’onn sighed, something he did rarely. “Kon has that date and activity.”

“So that’s why you allowed Red Robin.” Wonder Woman adds from her seat at the table.

Superman has the decency to look embarrassed. Batman looks at him as if surprised that Superman knew of the existence of the betting pool.

“First major fight after becoming a couple.” J’onn asks.

Superman blushes and looks away, but offers the same date as Batman. J’onn flips pages.

“Kara.” J’onn announces, and only Superman looks surprised. Batman might be surprised, but he doesn’t look it. “First romantic time away?”

A smile tugs at the edges of Batman’s mouth as he offers a date. Morbid curiosity has the JL turn to J’onn.

“The mark is BGC. Who is this person?”

“Obviously it’s a member of the bat family.” Booster Gold growls, and Green Lantern slaps him across the back of his head.

“Thank you, GL.” Batman says.

“I didn’t think you had enough Batgirls to fill an alphabet.” Clark offers.

Batman rolls his eyes and his lenses are up so everybody sees it.

“Besides, none of the Batgirls are members of the JL or Young Justice, so they totally don’t count.” Plastic Man shouts, but mutters his next words to Shyera. “It’s not like I have the next closest date or anything.”

“The rules were anybody who was in the Watchtower on official business could pay their money and select their date. I have enough money to account for all the entries in the book, so the only concern is if Batgirl was here on official business.” J’onn turned to look at Batman, waiting for him to resolve the issue.

“No Batgirl or Batwoman has ever been on the Watchtower.” Green Arrow offers, having issues with a certain Batgirl who had attacked Young Justice while Arrowette was there.

“Oracle, are you listening to this?” Batman asks the air.

“Always, B.” The disembodied voice of the floating green head answers. It doesn’t help that the green head smiles at this.

“I give up.” Green Arrow says, before sagging into his chair. “The bats have taken over the belfry.”

“I will admit we get into some unusual places.” Oracle says, the grin never leaving her green face. “But I didn’t know C had been up here.”

“She needed a refresher class in B & E.” Batman offers.

Oracle laughs, but everyone else stares at Batman in horror. Superman is the first to speak.

“You had Cass break into the Watchtower? How did she add her name to the book, when she can’t read yet?”

“I might have suggested leaving the marks in the book and the fifty bucks in J’onn’s quarters as proof of completion of the assignment.” Batman adds a shrug, which nobody buys. Nobody even rents it.

“Did you explain to her that she could die if she did it wrong? You know that whole ‘we’re in space’ thing?” Superman uses his hands to make marks for his words, and express his irritation.

“I think so.”

“You think so? You risked her life on a think so?”

“You know how she is, she understands more than she seems.”

“Batman,” J’onn interrupts before Batman and Superman can really get started. “I take it you will see to it that Black Bat gets her winnings?”

“Yes, even though she won’t understand where they came from.”

“Or what to do with money.”

“She’s figured that out. Had to put a block on her credit card to keep her from giving it all away.” Batman actual sound human in that moment, human and proud of his kid. “She’s really…”

“If you say sweet I’ll never ask you to marry me.”

“Tomato, tomahato, sweet, creepy.” This loquacious statement came with a telling shrug of Bat-shoulders. "Besides, it got her out of the house for the day in question."

"Oh." Two letters and Superman is completely on Batman's side.

“One last winner, gentleman.” J’onn asked, wanting to end this unexpectedly trying ordeal. When Batman and Superman looked at him, he continued. “It seems that the winner of the announcement date is Kal-el.”

Even Batman turned to look at Superman, who offered an apologetic shrug of his shoulders. “I wanted to get B something nice for Christmas.”

Batman sighed audibly, and pushed to his feet. “Collect our winnings, we’ll divide them amongst the stockings.”

“What are you going to do, B?” Superman asked his retreating back, not expecting Batman’s answer to shock the entire JL.

“I’m going home, to hang mistletoe in unusual places.”

Superman was the first to recover, to turn begging eyes to J’onn.

J’onn suddenly understood the appeal of rolling your eyes. “I will get your winnings quickly, Kal.”

Turning intangible, J’onn did just that. Giving the box of money to Kal, J’onn made the JL wait until Kal was off station before allowing them to start betting on the next phase of the World’s Finest relationship. They also initiated new rules prohibiting all members of the extended SuperBat family from participating. And anyone who lived in Gotham, just to be thorough.
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